One-missisippi two-missisippi
by Villemo
Summary: Chuck Bass, snores. Blair needs to find an answer to this problem. Pronto!


**AN:** Just a little thing that came to me. We all have our issues.

 **Summary:** Chuck Bass, snores. Blair needs to find an answer to this problem. Pronto!

* * *

Who would have thought that Chuck Bass *snored _*_ ,  
she thought to herself with a groan.  
Certainly not her.  
It just seemed so... uncivilized, and he, was everything but. He was meticulous and perfect.  
Snoring, just didn't fit with any of that, but he did,  
snore that was.  
Loudly.  
She groaned again.

She sometimes revelled at the picture outsiders must have of him,  
perfect and poised and composed at all times.  
(Well, her as well, prim, and proper, and perfect.)  
She missed that picture.  
She *had* grown up with him of course,  
well of sorts at least,  
but she had never really paid much attention to him,  
being already set on the image of what her prince charming should be like (Nate) and pursuing that like nobodies business (like she did all her endeavours),  
so she always saw him from the outside.  
He had his obvious bad habits of course, like drinking (too much), smoking weed (and god knew what else) and womanizing, but he did it all in true dandy style, like Humphrey Bogart, or Cary Grant (albeit a somewhat..modern version) and while she sometimes had loathed his guts, she had always admired the fact about him that he always seemed to come out on top, always in control, always perfectly composed...like she herself wanted to be, and be seen.

She sighed,  
poking him in the back for the umpteenth time.  
"Chuuuuck", she complained,  
he grunted.  
"Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck!  
poking him at every syllable  
"Ugh!"  
he said, rolling around to face her,  
eyes sleepy, hair tousled,  
looking *adorable*  
"What what" in that deep timber of his.  
She would *not* be swayed.  
Not.  
"Snoring. Annoying! Stop it!" she exclaimed hitting her small fist against the pillow.  
He blinked, looking surprised.  
"Chuck Bass," he paused ,"- does *not* snore", he said.  
"I'm telling you right now that he does",  
she eyed him furiously,  
"and it's driving Blair Waldorf crazy",  
she added.

She supposed he was in his right to be suspicious of her accusation.  
After all, she had been flabbergasted.  
This man had slept with half of Manhattan,  
and not once had she heard of this snoring of his, from any of his conquests (which sad to say she knew quite a few of),  
and these were girls who gossiped like nobody's business, so much so that once she had taken an interest in knowing, she had pretty much known all there's was to know about his in-bed-performance. From what he liked to do to how he..., well,  
let's just say *all*, except, this.

"How could you possibly have gotten laid so much with this snoring thing going on"  
she accused, gesticulating.  
He looked affronted, or was that amused "Say what?"  
"This snoring!"  
she repeated "It had to drive them crazy!"  
"Why are there no stories of this?!"  
"No. warnings. what so ever."  
she hmmfd.  
He smirked.  
"I- there are stories?"  
She rolled her eyes "Well of course there are, what, you don't think girls talk? Gossip?"  
"And, you felt the need to search these... stories out?" he drawled,  
looking disgustingly pleased with himself  
"Yes well, I - that's not the point" she exclaimed, blushing slightly  
"Oh but I think it is"  
"No no no.  
the point, is, how the hell did they put up with this insane noi-"  
"I never *slept* with them."  
he interrupted her looking at her from under his lashes, in that way of his.  
"Oh I know you slept with them"  
she pointed out.  
"No, I never *slept* with them."  
he emphasized again.  
She eyed him suspiciously.  
"You mean to say, you tossed each and every one of them out after you were done?"  
"Yep."  
He seemed to think about it  
"Well I guess there was this one time with these two maids, but that was really more a case of a passing out than sleep-"  
"Ah!" she held up her hand.  
"TMI?"  
"T.M.I."  
He nodded, and she stayed quiet for a moment.  
He seemed about to doze off again, his eyes drawing shut as she continued speaking.  
"So..  
the first time we actually slept together was the first time you actually slept with a girl?"  
"Pretty much" he murmured sleepily, casually,  
but she could see his jawline tense a little at the admission,  
like he was admitting too a weakness of some kind,  
or some big secret,  
it was absurd and totally endearing.  
Not that she'd let him know that, he was far too full of himself already.  
"I...good" she nodded "I like that" she conceded, allowing herself that much.  
She could see a ghost of a smile spreading on his face,  
and he squeezed the hand she had previously been poking him with under the blanket.  
"Good" he said sleepily.  
"I do too."  
She smiled slightly, and nestled closer to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck,  
preparing to go back to sleep.  
Maybe this snoring thing wasn't so bad,  
at least she was the only one that had gotten to experience it.  
That had gotten to be that close to an sleeping unguarded Chuck Bass.  
She smiled happily.  
Yes, she decided, it really wasn't that bad,  
and besides, he'd stopped now, and was lying quite peacefully next to her,  
her heart warmed at the sight, and she gently tousled his hair.  
One-missisippi two-missisippi...  
"zzzzzzzz"  
"Chuuuuck!"  
She was sowing a freaking clothing hanger into his pajamas! Tomorrow the day!


End file.
